Clearing the brain fog

You walk into a room and have absolutely no idea why you’re there. You’re mid-sentence in a meeting and the word you need simply vanishes. You put your phone down and spend 10 minutes trying to find it. You bump into someone you used to work with and you can’t remember their name.

Does this sound familiar? If so, please know this: you are far from alone, and you are not losing your marbles. We are living through one of the busiest, most demanding parts of our lives, often with hormones that are doing their own thing entirely. Sometimes when things get too much, it can be the simple things that can make a real difference.

The joy of brain fog

“Brain fog” isn’t a medical diagnosis, but it’s a phrase many women recognise instantly. During perimenopause and menopause, lots of us notice that we’re more forgetful, find it harder to concentrate, lose our train of thought, or struggle to find the right word. It can feel as though your brain is wrapped in wet cotton wool.

Changing hormone levels play their part, and so do the things that often travel alongside them: broken sleep, stress, and the sheer number of plates many midlife women are spinning. The reassuring news is that for most women, these changes are temporary and ease over time or so I’m told.

If brain fog is worrying you or getting in the way of daily life, it’s always worth a chat with your GP or practice nurse. There is support available, and you don’t have to just put up with it.

Why writing things down helps

Our brains are wonderful at thinking, creating and solving problems. They’re rather less good at acting as a filing cabinet. Every “must remember to…” we carry around is like having another tab open on a computer. Open enough tabs and everything starts to slow down.

Psychologists have a name for handing that job over to something outside our heads: cognitive offloading. I love this term. It’s what you’re doing every time you write a shopping list or stick a note on the fridge. Research has also found that unfinished tasks have a habit of nagging at us normally at the time when we are trying to fall asleep. By simply making a clear plan for when and how we’ll deal with each task can help quieten that often overwhelming mental chatter.

In other words, writing things down isn’t a sign that your memory is failing. It’s a clever, practical way of freeing up space so your brain can get on with what it does best.

The old-fashioned favourites (that still work brilliantly)

There’s something deeply satisfying about pen and paper and something I love is a list and a scribbled note and I do believe it helps things stick. And there’s nothing quite like the joy of crossing something off. As I often say to my family, if it’s not written down it’s not happening. Here are a few tried-and-tested ideas:

• One trusty diary. A week-to-view diary or planner where everything lives appointments, birthdays, deadlines, reminders. The magic is in having just one place to look.
• The “top three” list. Rather than a list of twenty things that leaves you feeling defeated, choose the three that matter most today. Anything else is a bonus.
• The bedtime brain dump. Spend five minutes before bed writing down everything swirling around your head. You don’t need to organise it, just get it out. Many women find they sleep more easily with their worries parked on paper.
• The one-notebook rule. Keep a single notebook (by the kettle, in your bag, wherever you’ll actually use it) for phone numbers, ideas, things to look up and half-remembered thoughts. No more scraps of paper on the back of envelopes.
• A family wall calendar. If you’re the household’s unofficial memory, share the load. A calendar on the kitchen wall means everyone can see what’s coming up, and it doesn’t all have to live in your head. (we are currently trying to get this to be digital – husband is not keen!)
• Sticky notes in the right place. A note on the front door saying “Keys? Phone? Lunch?” is worth its weight in gold on a foggy morning.
• A home for everything. A hook for keys, a bowl for glasses, a basket by the door for things that need to go out. When everything has a home, you don’t have to remember where you put it.

A helping hand from technology

If you carry a smartphone, you already have a very patient personal assistant in your pocket. And AI tools are making it easier than ever to keep track of life without having to remember everything yourself.

• Reminders that do the remembering for you. Voice assistants on your phone or smart speaker can set a reminder in seconds: “Remind me at six o’clock to ring Mum” or “Remind me every Tuesday to put the bins out.” Some can even remind you when you arrive somewhere, such as picking up a prescription.
• Recurring reminders for the regular stuff. Medication times, car tax, insurance renewals, the dog’s flea treatment. Set them once and let your phone take it from there.
• Turning a jumble into a list. AI assistants are wonderful at taking a rambling voice note or a messy brain dump and turning it into a tidy, ordered to-do list.
• Breaking big jobs into small steps. Feeling overwhelmed by “update my CV” or “sort out the spare room”? Ask an AI assistant to break it into bite-sized steps. Suddenly it feels doable.
• Planning your week. Share your commitments and ask for help spotting where you might fit in a walk, a rest or that job you keep putting off.
• Drafting the email you’ve been avoiding. When the words just won’t come, an AI tool can give you a first draft to tweak, which can be a real relief on a foggy day.

A gentle word of caution: AI tools are helpers, not experts in your life. Always check what they produce and think carefully before sharing personal details such as health information, bank details or anything you’d prefer to keep private. It’s worth taking a few minutes to look at the privacy settings of any app you use.

Finding what works for you

There’s no single “right” way to get organised and trying to do all of these will make a busy brain feel even more overwhelmed. Just try the best system that you will actually use. Many women find a mix can work well, for example:

• Sunday: fifteen minutes with your diary and a cup of tea to look at the week ahead.
• Each morning: jot down your top three.
• Throughout the day: phone reminders for anything that has to happen at a set time.
• Each evening: a quick brain dump to clear your head before bed.

And please be kind to yourself. There will be weeks when the diary stays shut and the list gets lost under a pile of post. That’s not failure, it’s life. Just pick it up again when you’re ready.

A note for working women

Brain fog can feel especially worrying at work. A few small habits can help: take notes in meetings (or activate the note taker on a teams call), ask for agendas in advance, send a short follow-up email summarising what was agreed, and give yourself permission to say “Can I come back to you on that?” If symptoms are affecting your work, it’s reasonable to talk to your manager about what would help, such as written instructions or a quieter space for focused tasks. A good employer will want to support you.

You’re still you

Brain fog can make you feel as though you’re losing a little bit of yourself. You’re not. You’re the same capable, resourceful woman you’ve always been, managing a lot, often all at once. A diary, a list or a well-timed reminder isn’t a crutch. It’s simply a tool that lets you show up as the best version of yourself.

So tonight, why not grab a notebook and try a five-minute brain dump? We’d love to hear how you get on.

Ingrid