By Sarah Stones, Plain Sailing Motivation
There are times in life (and work) when motivation feels like a distant memory. When the morning alarm goes off and you ask yourself, “Why bother?” or “Where’s the spark gone?”
Whether you’re navigating a career change, facing age-bias, juggling family and self-care, or simply feeling stuck mid-course, the question of “where to find motivation” becomes urgent.
I know this terrain well. In my 20 years of HR, recruitment, coaching, and as someone who’s faced health and mobility challenges, motivation isn’t about a quick pep-up. It’s about re-connecting with what energises you at a deep level.
I had gone from one HR role to another throughout my career, enjoying each role for a couple of years and then thinking “Am I in the wrong job, I am not enjoying this” but not understanding why. When I discovered more about what fills me with energy, or, in other words, what motivates me, it all made sense. I need to be learning, solving problems and making a difference. Those motivational needs were all being met for the first couple of years in every role – and then, once I had been there a while, they weren’t!
I became fascinated with motivation 10 years ago now and my knowledge of it now underpins everything I do. I am passionate that everyone needs to understand more about motivation, not only to be able to support themselves but also to support those around them. As I said in my recent TEDx Talk*, “We only ever talk about motivation when we don’t have any.” This needs to change.
Here’s some simple tips on how we can find it again, together.
1. Recognise energy isn’t infinite
When it’s hard, the first step is acknowledging that motivation and energy are linked, but energy gets depleted. You might feel low because you’re doing things that drain or demotivate you rather than because you’re lazy or un-motivated.
- Ask Which parts of my life are draining me rather than energising me?
- Try Pick one small thing this week you don’t need to do and don’t do it – or ask someone else to help you with.
Giving yourself permission to rest isn’t optional, it’s essential.
2. Discover what truly matters to you
One of the tools I use with clients is a profiling tool that looks at motivation rather than personality. The Motivational Map® Report shows which of the nine motivators we have and which ones are currently important to you (You can find out more about the 9 motivators by going to https://plainsailingmotivation.co.uk/motivational-maps/ )
Here are a few examples
- If one of the motivators important to you is the Creator (innovation, new things), but your day-job is purely repetitive, you might feel flat and uninspired.
- If one of the motivators important to you is the Defender (security, stability) and you’re on a roller-coaster of change, you’re very likely to be struggling and to feel drained.
- If one of the motivators important to you is the Searcher (meaning, purpose) but you’re working purely for money, you’re likely to be going through the motions but not enjoying work.
Exercise Pick 1-2 of the nine that resonate most for you (or the opposite) and ask: “Is my current life meeting that motivator?” If not, ask yourself what’s one tiny adjustment that would help you meet that motivator?
3. Small steps count – especially when you don’t feel “inspired”
When motivation is low, waiting for a big spark can backfire (“I’ll wait until I feel it”). It is far better to look for ‘small wins’ that rebuild energy slowly.
- Pick one task you can complete in 15 minutes.
- Set a “micro-goal” that links to your motivator: e.g., if you’re a Builder (achievement, reward), choose something you can tick off.
- Celebrate the completion, even if it is very quietly. Affirm that you showed up.
The forward movement reignites the feeling of competence and momentum.
4. Realign your environment
Your surroundings matter more than we admit. If your motivators aren’t being served by your environment, even the most resilient person can feel lost.
- Is your workspace chaotic (and you’re a Defender who needs order)?
- Are you isolated (and you’re a Friend who thrives on connection)?
- Are you doing the same old tasks (and you’re a Creator who craves novelty)?
Try changing one thing this week. Clear a corner, schedule a short coffee break with someone, switch a task. These small shifts signal to your brain: “Something’s different, and I can be part of it.”
5. Lean into your values when feeling stuck
Motivation becomes meaningful when it’s tied to your values, not just external “shoulds”.
Ask What values are non-negotiable for you (kindness, fairness, authenticity, courage)?
Are you acting in alignment with them right now, even in the small stuff?
When you live by your values, even hard tasks feel less like a grind and more like a choice.
6. Connect with others who get it
Mid-life brings transitions (work, body, purpose, family) and that can feel lonely. You are stronger when you share the load.
- Seek out peers or groups (like Midlife360) who understand the mid-life canvas.
- Be vulnerable. When you tell people “it’s tough right now” it will get easier. And you will discover amazing support.
- Use your story (yes, including the wonky bits) as a bridge to real connection.
7. Re-frame the “tough” time as fuel
Here’s a cheeky truth: hard patches can become launch pads. Your resilience, insight and softness grow in them. Instead of thinking “why am I not motivated?”, Ask “What’s this teaching me?” Maybe it’s teaching patience. Maybe it’s showing you where your boundaries need strengthening. Maybe it’s nudging you towards a change you’ve been avoiding.
8. Go back to “why” and refine it
The “why” behind what you’re doing might still be valid but sometimes the way you serve it needs updating. Or it may have changed considerably.
- If you’re doing X because “that’s what I’ve always done”, maybe it’s time to redefine X or find a new Y.
- Keep asking: *Why am I doing this? Who for? What difference does it make – to me, to others?
Sometimes the motivation comes when you refresh your purpose, so your next steps feel connected to something meaningful.
9. Accept and ride the dips
Motivation is not linear. There will be peaks and troughs. The key – don’t mistake a trough for failure.
In the dip:
- Acknowledge your feelings. (“I’m drained; I’ve lost my spark.”)
- Pause and choose your next small step.
- Reflect: What small thing can I do now that supports my motivator?
Each time you lean into those acts, you build a pattern of resilience.
10. Invitation & prompt
Your prompt for today
- *Ask If I had just 10 minutes today to do something that fulfils one of my top motivators (using the nine-motivator lens), what would I do?
Write it down. Do it. Notice how you feel afterwards.
- *Ask “What’s one message I’d give to myself in this mid-life season about motivation?”
Write it as if you’re coaching your best friend. Then keep it somewhere you’ll see.
Final thoughts
When motivation feels elusive, don’t beat yourself up. You’re simply human. Either you aren’t doing things that give you energy or what you need to do to give you energy has changed. Use this time to clearly identify your motivators, the values you hold, and the support you deserve.
Your mid-life chapter isn’t a pause, it’s a pivot. And with the right lens and small steps, you can move forward in a way that truly energises you.
If you’d like to dig deeper into your motivators (or help others do so), drop me a message. I’d love to explore how you can thrive, not just survive, in this next phase.
About Sarah Stones
Sarah Stones is a Motivation Specialist, coach, and professional speaker who helps people rediscover their energy, confidence, and clarity, especially when life or work feels tough.
She works with individuals who feel stuck, overwhelmed, or low on motivation, helping them understand what truly drives them and how to use that insight to move forward. For employers, she supports teams to boost engagement, reduce burnout, and create workplaces where wellbeing and performance thrive side by side.
Living with cerebral palsy and having twice faced breast cancer, Sarah brings deep lived experience of resilience and perspective to everything she does. Her honesty and warmth help people see that motivation isn’t about forcing positivity – it’s about finding the right energy for you.
Sarah is the founder of Plain Sailing Motivation and a TEDx speaker, sharing her talk “What Drives Us: Rethinking Motivation, Engagement and Mental Health.”
🎥 Watch it here: https://bit.ly/SarahStonesTEDx
Find out more at plainsailingmotivation.co.uk
