Some days, I wake up and wonder, what was I thinking?
This path I chose in building a social enterprise on my own definitely isn’t glamorous. As I sit in my office in the garden, by myself with radio 2 to keep me company, I sometimes have the think back to the reasons why I continued with Midlife360 CIC when I could have easily walked away.
My weeks are either hectic or solitary, my days are not packed with the team energy, the steady feedback, or even the validation that comes from a boss saying “well done.” It’s just me. And some days, the motivation I started with feels so far away I can barely remember what it looked like.
When I launched my Midlife360 CIC I was part of a team of two, I was driven by purpose and wanting to make a difference. The clarity of my “why” inspired me, gave me gumption and enabled me. I knew the problem I wanted to solve. Then there was a step change, a reimagined vision, big plans – workshops, social media posts to create, a website to design, lists and so many post it notes and above everything I had momentum.
But now? Some mornings I stare at my laptop and feel well stuck. The excitement is still there, but it is now quietly bubbling. The to-do list feels endless and sometimes overwhelming, whether it be funding applications, procurement platforms, the creation of new programmes or designing more toolkits. And I can’t help but ask: Can I really do this?
The reality of going solo
Working for myself, I carry every doubt, invoice, and idea alone. I’m lucky to have such amazing support from my advisory board who keeps me grounded, on target, and who bring a huge array of skills and talent. I am grateful to them. There are also some key individuals who cheer me on and support me in so many ways. While there is no longer a co-founder, I find huge joy in the small wins, the emails with good news, the meetings where people are engaged and the networking which is no longer as intimidating as it used to be.
I have been able to find motivation I never knew I had. I do still doubt myself (who doesn’t?) and I can now see that not every day can be huge, not every meeting can be the best one ever and I can allow myself some time to reflect, reset and move on.
Reconnecting with my Why
I started Midlife360 CIC because I wanted the women I work with to feel they mattered. I wanted to create something of value and where I could make a difference to the women, employers and funders I work with. Just by writing this has given me clarity that motivation comes in waves and that is absolutely fine and sometimes it can be the smallest thing that can give me the push I needed to keep myself motivated on a warm sunny day.
What I’m slowly learning
- Rest isn’t a failure. It’s fuel. When I stop pushing, I start hearing my own voice again and gives me the time think things through and make the right decisions.
- Doubt doesn’t mean I’m off track. It just means I care enough to ask hard questions and I can sit with the questions and how I might answer them.
- Small steps count. Even sending one email, writing one paragraph, or making one call is progress. I often look back to September and think how far I have come. I should do this more as it a big deal!
- Community matters. Talking to another founder, mentor, or friend can change and improve my energy. (Thank you, Maria and Heather who made this very clear on Friday!)
If this resonates
If you’re reading this and nodding along, you are not alone. I’ve realised that motivation comes and goes but by focusing on purpose it will always come back. And the fact that we are still here, even on days we don’t feel like it is proof of our resilience.
- I’m learning to sit with this– as I say to my teenagers, this is a marathon not a sprint.
- It is okay with not being okay all the time.
- To believe that it’s all part of the journey and not a sign to stop.
- Keep going, we’ve got this.
#SoloFounder #Lostmotivation #Midlifestartup #Buildingslowly #socialenterprise #Purposeoverperfection #Womeninbusiness #midlife360
