Midlife Stories: Bren
I have always considered myself to be a strong woman. Having worked since I was 16 years old, then married to a military person, raised two children often many times on my own whilst my husband away for weeks on end.
The children have said many times that I am a strong, inspirational mum and my husband says I am the glue that holds everyone together.
But that all changed last year, having reached retirement age, and became a grandparent, I decided to retire from my full-time role and have some time for me, weeks passed having had the best lunches, days out with my grandson and lots of social events coming my way but towards the end of last year when I had done all those things, what happens now I thought!
It suddenly felt no one needed me anymore and I had become forgotten and lost my own identity!
It suddenly felt no one needed me anymore and I had become forgotten and lost my own identity! I was constantly on my phone, killing time or waiting for my husband to get home from work and felt like I had no purpose anymore. My son was going through a traumatic breakup in his very young marriage, and I felt consumed and depressed by what was going on in my life.
I had lost confidence in myself and had no idea how I could change things, I had always loved working, being a people person, I love to be surrounded and interact, and this gave me joy! So, I sat down and talked with the family about going back to work, I knew I needed a constant in my life for my own well-being, being a part of something and being given a role. So, a part time job offering 10 hours a week which is amazing. I have my mojo back but now also have the mental strength to be there for my family and enjoy the satisfaction that this little part time role has given me.
I guess it’s all about being emotionally in control and made me realise I am still a strong person. Women my age have so many life skills to bring to the table, don’t ever under value those use them in whatever form you wish and do it for you.
My husband is due to retire next year, and who knows maybe that will be the time for change but until then…